new things & new knowledge

So my school is strange and I'm having half term this week instead of last week (has this happened for anyone else? UK people). Anyway, I'm glad to say that this year isn't going too badly (for me) at all.

I've been reading SO MUCH, like way more than I did last year which is amazing. Despite this, I haven't finished ORANGES ARE NOT THE ONLY FRUIT, since I've just been jumping around between lots of different books (which doesn't make me anxious anymore which is good good good) and I'm happy that I've been spending time feeding my mind with knowledge.

Another thing, anyone have any remedies for ECZEMA?? I want to start putting good things on my skin and in my body (I am now a vegetarian!!!!) and I don't want to use steroid cream from the doctors if I don't have to. I'll do more looking around but any suggestions would be great.

I've also been very inspired lately and I have written a few poems and I'd like to share one with you (please bear with me, as I've only just recently started writing poetry. I've always been more of a novel kind of gal):

conflict

i want to live, i want to die,

i tell you my conflict isn’t a lie.

one day i’ll water my flowers, let them bloom,

come from my mouth.

then i will take away their life line, and rip

them from the ground.

NO HELP LINE, NO LIFE LINE, NO RIGHT WORD, NO NICE RHYME.

writing it down on paper not my heart,

passion burning but drinking water non stop.

i have HOLES in my flesh and

CRACKS in my lips.

but i still sharpen my nails to puncture my skin.

rip out my ribs, throw them away,

then cry that my heart is ruined and stained.

why was i born into a critical mind,

why can i live in ignorance with the truth in front of my eyes.

I seem okay, during the day.

Like I have something real to say.

But then I feel an overwhelmingly heavy feeling of dismay

when I laugh.

I DON’T WANNA TO FEEL THIS WAY

                                                                    

                                                                      i don’t want to feel this way

_____________________

So that is something that I have been working recently. I think that last thing that I would like to share with you all is a haul. I don't think I've ever done one on here but I think it would be nice. So here are some things that I've bought!

*materialismmaterialismmaterialismmaterialismmaterialismmaterialism*

• Vistaprint t shirts (including stories behind them, e.g. malboro is inspo from anajah)

*You may not believe me but I do not smoke. I saw icecreameaterrr with a shirt like this though and I was INSPIRED to design something similar!!!

baby necklace from etsy

And a whole load of books to help figure out my faith lol

A POEM BY ME

A BIT OF BACKGROUND

So guys, I wrote a poem (which doesn't have a title yet)! It's based off of a short story I wrote when I was around 14 probably. Anyway, it is so badly written but when you create characters, no matter how cheesy their story is, you never stop feeling for them. The girl in this is called Payten (the first POC that I ever created and wrote) and the boy is called Noah (he is the narrator of the story and this poem).

________________________________________________________________________________

And since I couldn't have you, due to the cross round your neck,

I cherished every ounce of love you were willing to give me.

When you smiled, I kept that light.

Wrapped it round myself, let it cover my skin,

For those nights when I remembered I missed you.

I recorded our conversations in my mind.

Replayed the best parts like a favourite song.

Mine was something by the Beatles, and yours was something different every day.

I treasured the time when I finally kissed you,

and when for one moment, you fully let me in

When you took my hand and stared into my eyes,

I knew that our end was near.

I could see it on your chest,

Forming in your eyes,

And spilling down your cheeks,

I remember that touch though.

The warmth of your hand,

The meaning, of your lips-

And I know that some nights,

Wherever you are,

You still think of me, like this.