am i goth

Okay, so I have been quite into the Gothic subculture recently ... okay, well it started ages ago, but I've been watching lots and lots of videos on it like non stop and reading up about it very recently. Anyway, I didn't think much of it, since I've always been into the DIY culture, Gothic Literature, different branches of Goth and different elements of Gothic style.

I am not a Goth though. 

That isn't a bad thing, but I'm not goth (do I need to capitalise this? It's annoying because I'm lazy). 

Anyway, my interest in gothy things, kind of made it clear to me that I'm into a load of things. Which isn't weird either, since I've always known that. I've always been into different subcultures, pop culture, mainstream, etc whatever. But then I was watching some goth videos, and they were like "I am a goth," and that statement kind of brought the fact that I can't really "define," myself into attention.

I'm not purely "goth," but I'm not "preppy," and I'm not purely into the trending things either. Now I know, this probably sounds a bit frivolous, but it's really distressing me! Like, I don't fit in anywhere. And I kind of got a bit upset about this for some time, since I like the idea of just being about to say one word, and people get some idea about what you're into. Also, being attached to only one culture, means that shopping is so easy, describing your musical interests is simple, finding people like you is easier and it doesn't look like you're spreading yourself too thinly.

I felt that I've been spreading myself too thinly. Not just in what I like, but also in what I want to do as like a job, career, whatever.

But yeah, I know that being interested in lots of things, does not, mean that you're spreading yourself thinly though. Yes, you can't define yourself using one word (which I'd like - preppy, skater, goth, grunge, whatever), but then I do like it. It doesn't mean that you're better, than anyone, else, but maybe it helps. Maybe it helps you to appreciate different things better, or it gives you more sources for creating.

I think being SO widely spread though, does, make it harder to find people who get me. Luckily, I didn't have to try very hard at all during my seven years at school, to find people who got or embraced my "eclecticness". We all kind of gravitated towards each other.

But what about when I enter other spaces? University? Like what am I going to do? I know there are societies but like ..?!?!?! What am I, and people who are like me going to do? This is why for me, CLOTHES, are so important. You can (obviously not all the time) predict the kind of things a person would be interested in by the way they dress, but I'm kind of going off now.

Anyway, I think this is just a sort of discussion. A nice little ramble. If you feel this way, how would you describe yourself? What three words would you use? A preppy, gothic art hoe? Like?!!! What would you say? How did you guys find your people, was it easy? Was it hard? HAVE, you found your people yet? Do you think you're spreading yourself to thinly? Is that even a thing? No.